Bridging the Generations
In 2015, less than two years after my Mom passed away, my Dad moved into an assisted living complex. As is usually the case, it was not an easy transition for him, or us. Sadly, his cognitive impairment from early Alzheimer’s made the move necessary. I could write a lot about that specific experience, but for now, I want to talk about bridging generations.
One of Dad’s biggest fears moving into the complex was that I wouldn’t stay with him when I went to visit. So, I bought a small air mattress and camped out in his living room. Staying with him in the home gave me access to other residents, their stories and dynamics. I learned so much from them.
In the evenings we would join the Tile Rummy game group. The interactions were hilarious. Marge was the rule enforcer, Pete was the cheater, Anne was the teacher, Doris made sure everyone was taking their turn properly. As the most limber of the group, I was the tile collector if one fell on the floor. Pete would cheat, Marge would call him out, he’d drop a tile on the floor, I would pick it up, Doris called out that it wasn’t his turn and Anne would tell me what tile to play next. It was a hilarious gong show.
At mealtimes, I joined Dad’s table and met his lunch mates. One gentleman thought I was his granddaughter, which was flattering. They all had meaningful careers: one couple travelled the world in the energy sector, one fellow was previously an engineer, another lady a schoolteacher who enjoyed ballroom dancing at 94. I learned a lot from the residents, my dad, and about inclusion.
I met my friend Alice after she celebrated her 100th birthday. We instantly connected, and I visited her every time I saw Dad. Alice had a lifetime of experience, humour, and hobbies, like quilting with her 1914 treadle sewing machine. We shared our challenges, triumphs, joys, gossip, and jokes. She often said, “everyone has something” or “aaaanyway…” when discussing illness. Our friendship meant a lot to me. Alice passed away at 104 in December 2020 due to Covid-19 isolation and contracting the virus. I cherish the time spent with her.
In western culture we don’t always appreciate what the previous generation has accomplished, contributed and learned. We also sometimes view the next generation as ungrateful and lazy. Both assessments are unfair and short sighted. When we dismiss the experience and wisdom of the older generation we are bound to repeat mistakes. When we belittle the innovation and enthusiasm that younger generations have, we lose on growth. Both ends of the spectrum, and everything in between are necessary for an inclusive and successful enterprise.
In workplace culture, the more perspectives and active engagements there are, the more successful the business. When we acknowledge each generation’s strengths and contributions, we bring them together in meaningful ways. As an individual, my life is only enriched by multi-generational friendships.
